How Learning New Tasks Translates into Confidence That You Can Tackle Any Organizing Project

When I started college this past January, I did so as a student who last went to school half a lifetime ago.  I was wary about my ability to keep up with people ten years younger than me or more.  I had the mistaken belief in my head that I was too old to re-learn (or learn anew) higher mathematics and worried the entire time I was taking algebra that I'd fail the class.  I resented having to take that type of course in the first place, considering that my majors aren't in a mathematical field at all.  But taking the class proved to me an invaluable lesson- I can learn new things just as well as I did when I was younger!  I won't be a raging success in every subject that I take on, but my ability to gain new knowledge and then use it is still intact.  And I believe the same thing applies to everyone and in many situations.  I know you might be thinking, "Yeah, right."  But I think that each of you can do whatever it is you want to do with your life. 

I may fail at things in life but it's rarely because I didn't give it my all mentally.  All it took to succeed in algebra was applying myself, something that sounds simple in print but is in reality quite tough to put into practice day in and day out.  When I actually read the lessons as assigned, doing all of the exercises and math problems step-by-step, I was able to retain what I learned better.  So long as I spent consistent time each day studying, filling in the gaps that existed in my knowledge, I not only learned new skills but I became somewhat expert at using them.  I didn't usually enjoy doing the actual work but I was buoyed by the fact that I climbed up the mountain of knowledge a little higher each day.  I realized that I could not psych myself out by constantly thinking, "I can't do this."  I think many students do the same thing mentally and thus give up before they've ever even really tried to master a topic.  I'd never touched a graphing calculator before this class, for example.  Now, I actually know how to write programs for my calculator, besides knowing how to use it to solve algebra!  Was it easy?  Not by a long shot.  But it was and is possible to conquer even the toughest of subjects.  I may not become a mathematical wizard, but I can do the best my brain and body will allow.  I refuse to give in to self-limitations, especially mental ones.  Anything is possible with a will to succeed, solid dedication to learning and tenacity.  Every door I open to new knowledge ends up just opening another door after that yet again, and I personally find this very exciting, one of the most enjoyable aspects of life itself.

So how does this translate to organizing projects or learning new routines to make your life run more smoothly?  It's quite simple.  The same thing that I had to do to gain knowledge about algebra and get good at it is exactly what one has to do when learning new home maintenance routines, organizing or time-management skills.  Very few people are born with the innate gifts of organizing or time-managing perfectly.  It's a set of skills I'd say 90-95% of us have to learn, usually the hard way- through repeating the same steps over and over until they become a part of our very nature.  Look at a ballet dancer for example, who must do the identical warm-up day after day after day, then builds their more elaborate dance repertoire step by step.  To get to the point where something becomes second nature, most of us have to repeat the same routines repeatedly for quite awhile.  No one learns full routines immediately, even when they have an innate talent for a particular task.  Organizing, time-managing and simplifying are about self-improvement, especially early on in the journey, but eventually they blossom out to a point where you'll want to improve even more of the world around you.  They're more important skills than they sometimes seem to be at first, because they end up being needed in every area of our existence.

Thankfully in this day and age much literature has been written to serve as guides on our way to mastering these tools.  I encourage you to seek out such books- there are many great ones out there- and articles about the topic.  There are tons of great blogs on organizing which provide help and motivation.  No, not every suggestion an author makes will apply to you or be a fit for your personality or lifestyle.  But you won't gain knowledge of what works and what doesn't without trying.  It's not better to never try a system because you think it just won't work for you.  There's nothing to be lost in making a solid attempt at something.  The benefits almost always weigh out the drawbacks.  If you try to implement a system, work at it daily and it fails, you'll still get something out of it!  No inventor, scientist or any other great figure of history achieved their major successes without a lot of failures as they worked.  It took many, many attempts to get an airplane off the ground, to get a working telephone, to develop electricity.  Also, many times they'd would discover an item of immense value that came out of the mere attempt to achieve their final goal, often as a sort of accidental surprise.  (Thomas Edison's work is a great example of this.)  Consistent hard work, trial-and-error and just plain showing up to try accomplishing something of importance every day is what serves life best.  You won't learn new skills, get tasks done or achieve anything of great value without taking steps backward.  Nothing and no one in life is a perpetual fountain of success- all great people were willing to take the chance of failure rather than walk away and never try to achieve their goal at all.

Lest you think my experience was nothing but a bed of roses this time, I only did an average job on my algebra tests.  I'm normally a good test-taker but higher mathematics are an exception to that rule.  What made the difference in my final class grade was completing my workshops & homework, showing up and finishing the class out.  I'll admit that I was not doing well on my tests, to the point where I thought I might not get a B in the class (the lowest grade I could get and still pass, in this case).  I was tempted to just say, "Screw it", and not even show up for the last class to take the final exam.  I didn't think I could get a B, I thought I was just not getting the material the way I should've been (considering my many hours of study) and frankly by the end of the semester I was a bit burned out.  But I completed the workshops, the homework, the final exam and the class.  And I passed with a B!  No, my final exam was not a masterpiece, but the mere fact that I tried my best was enough in this case.  Even if I wouldn't have passed, I would still have known that I gave it my all and psychologically, that was necessary to me. 

I encourage you to view the development of your organizing, simplifying and time management skills in the same way.  Stick the path out.  Work on it a little bit every day, even when it's the last thing you want to be doing.  Right about the time you think you'll experience your biggest failure is when you'll often instead get your biggest breakthroughs.  And then, finally, your biggest success will come along.  You cannot look at others who already have the skills under their belt and make negative comparisons about yourself.  I will never be a mathematical genius.  It'll never be something that I naturally grasp easily or have an enormous passion for.  I'm glad there are people like that out there, but my interests lie elsewhere.  However, I'm grateful for the lessons I learned- not so much the math itself, but the incidental stuff.  Having to stretch myself in this way taught me a great deal about my habits and my psyche.  Look at getting organized, simplifying and gaining time management skills the same way.  I know that you'll get farther than you ever dreamed possible if you do this. 

Here's to being an organized minimalist,
Liz

A Minimalist Woman's Weekly Pampering Routine

My weekly body care routine listed below is organized and designed to keep a woman feeling good, looking good and yet still not being what I would consider a slave to beauty.  You can add on or omit activities as you wish.  I didn't color my hair for a long time, but I started to feel pretty blah without it (and lightening my hair makes me look younger, which I'm starting to need a bit of help on!)  Some women couldn't imagine a pampering ritual without a bubble bath, while others go out and get their nails done professionally.  For me, I do everything myself at home, but I want it all to go by pretty quickly and also be easy enough to remember.  You can always write a little Post-it note on your bathroom mirror advising what activities to do and when to do them, should your memory be less-than-perfect (like mine).  Adaptation is important.  I don't find painting my nails fun or pampering (nor do I like the smell or the expense of nail-care products), but if it's something you enjoy, go for it.  This weekly time of pampering is a good way to remember things which are incidental to beauty routines, too- such as changing out your bath towels, swapping your old razor out for a fresh one, washing your bathroom tumbler in the dishwasher or by hand, washing your hairbrush and comb, etc.  Doing weekly pampering is a way to remind myself of things like this that my scatterbrained self would look right past (I'm way too distracted to remember washing my hairbrush without a reminder from my online calendar!)  I have to admit, I still don't find actually doing these activities pampering- the pleasant feeling is what comes after the work is done, when my hair, skin and nails look so nice.  And when my bathroom is deep-down clean and de-cluttered, too.

A detailed pampering routine may not appeal to a hardcore minimalist at all, which I can completely understand.  I don't think that there's anything wrong with having either mindset.  I can understand why some women don't shave and just don't "do" pampering.  I say rock on with doing whatever floats your boat.  This is simply laid out for the woman who wants to get more organized about the weekly ritual of grooming herself for the week ahead.  I find that the pampering positively affects me mentally, as much or even more as it does physically, though I'm not wild about the extra time the prepping itself takes.  I know in advance that I'll carry myself a little more confidently when I've gotten these things done and that's what provides me motivation.  For me it creates the same feeling as having my hair nicely styled, wearing a pretty pair of earrings or when I have my makeup beautifully applied.  It adds a little spring in my step throughout the day, especially when I glance in the mirror. 

1) Color my hair if needed (I do this every four weeks)._

L'Oreal haircolor has always given me the best, most consistent results of any brand and I've used it for many, many years.  Despite my shade being a bleach and also permanent in color, it's still gentle (no burning of my scalp or anything).  Home haircolor has vastly improved from even just ten or fifteen years ago.  Also, the deep conditioner in the L'Oreal line is the best I've ever seen at any price point and the tube of it lasts me a few weeks after the coloring is done, too. 
http://www.drugstore.com/loreal-excellence-creme-haircolor-blonde-supreme-extra-light-ash-blonde-01/qxp149723?catid=183846

2) Apply facial mask about ten minutes before I step into the shower._

I have very dry and very sensitive skin but I also tend to break out when using products with irritants or too many oils in it.  I cannot use anything "scrubby" or anything with BHAs/AHAs.  This is the Holy Grail of facial masks for my skin type, the only one I can use on my skin without making it break out or dry out because it's gentle and yet deeply hydrating.
http://www.paulaschoice.com/shop/collections/Skin-Recovery/_/Skin-Recovery-Hydrating-Treatment-Mask/

3) Use depilatory on my forearms, if needed.  (This also occurs about every four weeks. The product has to stay on my arms about seven minutes, and then the hair comes right off in the shower with a wet washcloth.)_

Sadly, my favorite Sally Hansen depilatory was taken off the market awhile back.  I have blonde hair but still have a lot of it on my forearms, so depilatory is a must to me (and nobody wants the stubble from shaving on their forearms!)  A side benefit to using depilatory is the amazing exfoliation that comes from using it- and that deep exfolation makes the skin look much brighter afterwards.  The only thing that comes close to that effect is using a good thick salt scrub.  The product below is my replacement depilatory, the closest to what I was using before:
http://www.drugstore.com/nair-shower-power-max-hair-remover-cream/qxp245412?catid=183759

4) Rinse off facial mask, haircolor and/or depilatory in the shower._

5) Apply deep conditioner to my hair (the deep conditioner I use is what comes with my haircolor product)._

6) Shave my underarms & legs._

I'm incredibly picky about razors.  Though these are disposable, they get rave reviews on a lot of websites and I think they're well-deserved.  Unless they're out-of-stock, I won't use any other razors because they shave close, last the longest, don't nick and are reasonably-priced.
http://www.drugstore.com/schick-xtreme-3-womens-triple-blade-disposable-razors-sensitive-skin/qxp151974?catid=183768

7) Use bikini trimmer._

Without a doubt, the best ladies' trimmer I've found is below:
http://www.drugstore.com/panasonic-progressions-bikini-shaper-and-trimmer-model-es246ac/qxp73613?catid=183782

8) Groom eyebrows right after my shower._

9) Trim and file my nails (fingernails every week; toenails every three weeks)._ Push back my cuticles on my fingernails, as well._

This awesome 3-sided tool files down both rough skin around the nails and the nails themselves via the different degrees of filing textures on the tool.  It also has a tip at the edge which cleans under the nails.  While I don't often buff my nails very often, the buffing trio on this tool are really excellent for high-shine nails without having to use nail polish.  I LOVE this tool, especially for the fingernails:
http://www.drugstore.com/tweezerman-shape-and-shine-nail-tool/qxp84186?catid=183647

A good titanium cuticle pusher, used right after a shower or bath, is an essential tool for groomed nails.
http://www.drugstore.com/titania-double-instrument--cuticle-pushercleaner/qxp154134?catid=183645

Here's to being an organized minimalist,
Liz

Learn Housekeeping, De-Cluttering, Organizing and Time Management Skills to Gain Inner Strength and Stability

This morning I actually got up when I was supposed to, instead of indulging in my deep and abiding love for sleeping late.  It was nice to sip my coffee and have my breakfast without feeling like I was on countdown.  When I showered and dressed, I didn't have to watch the clock every second, leaving the house with my makeup only halfway completed and my hair not looking the way that I really wanted it to.  I had time to make my bed, spritz it with Febreze, lay out my outfit for tomorrow, swish-and-swipe my bathroom, take out the trash and load up the dishwasher with dirty dishes which were used this morning, before I had to leave the house for my college class.  You may think I'm some of organizational queen after writing this blog for about a year, but I'm not that way at all!  I have to work just as hard as anyone else to fight laziness, boredom (let's face it- routines do sometimes get stale and monotonous, no matter how helpful and important they are) and exhaustion.  I'm no stranger to the feeling of, "Why can't it all just be finished already?  I'm so tired of being the only one stuck doing these chores!  Why can't I go to bed just ONE NIGHT and feel like I got everything on my mental to-do list done?"  It's easy to feel like a loser instead of a champion in a world of endless information, opportunities, places and people pulling for our attention.  I'm no more immune from that feeling than any other person on earth, no matter how many time-management, organizing and housekeeping skills I have under my belt.  People might assume that being a single, child-free person prevents that feeling of "the housework is never done!", but it doesn't.  Everyone has responsibilities and chores that they have to do.  Even single people with small homes still have to de-clutter, clean, organize what they do own well, file, stick to their calendar's scheduled activities, go grocery-shopping and cook.  No matter how simplified, minimalist and organized you get, there will always be something left over to clean, something new to learn, someone in your life still demanding to be given help in one manner or another.

But I digress.  I had a weird thing happen to me recently.  After months years of feeling kind of low on energy, lacking a certain sense of peace continually and experiencing physical pain that drained my mental resources as well, one morning I woke up and simply felt...good.  And I kept feeling good.  My mind was also quite clear.  The guilt that had hung over my head since, well...birth...seemed to evaporate into thin air.  I didn't have some magical surgery or start taking a new drug.  No new workout plan or diet was begun.  I didn't fall in love or have any other logical reason for the new feelings.  And the crazy thing was that I didn't know what to do with my newly found energy, sense of peace or happiness!  It felt abnormal to be healthy, clear-headed and happy!  I didn't even know I really wasn't feeling healthy and happy until this strange, rather miraculous thing happened.  I had energy left over even after a day of classes and housework.  I felt good about myself.  The self-criticism just stopped, like a stereo playing a tape in my brain got unplugged.  I have no logical explanation for it.  If I could tell you how to replicate it, I would.  I stopped hating my body.  I stopped judging everything I did, said, ate, didn't do, didn't eat, didn't say.  It is a freeing thing to have gone through thirty-two years of perpetual self-criticism and all of the sudden realize that I am perfectly okay just as I am.  You could say that going back to college (which has been an overwhelmingly positive experience) is behind it all, but I believe it's deeper than that, which I'll explain. 

There have been a lot of upheavals in my life in the past four years.  I quit an old job which was no longer fruitful, got a new job, my mother (whom I live with) retired after working full-time for thirty-seven years, I got laid off unexpectedly, dealt with long-term unemployment, have moved house twice and started college full-time after sixteen years away from any type of schooling.  So to say that I've learned how to keep persevering through upheaval and maintain normalcy despite big changes in lifestyle would be an understatement.  My mother's retirement was an intense period of adjustment for me, for example.  She worked down the road and always had a long commute.  As an only child of a single parent, I was used to (and loved) having lots of time alone.  Suddenly I had to live with someone who was in my house nearly 24/7 and wanted a lot more of my attention.  I resented the disturbance in my routines and invasion into my private time.  And someone who left me more dishes to wash, wanted dinner earlier in the evening and took over our public spaces (such as the living room) incessantly.  I didn't like the changes and to be honest, it is still not easy to have so little solitude.  But, just like dealing with unemployment or moving to a new home, you learn to adjust and make do. 

No one can provide you with a real sense of inner strength that comes from knowing you can take anything life can throw at you and still survive.  If I'd known four years ago what was in store for me, I would've said I didn't have the inner resources to survive all of that.  I've gone through everything essentially alone- there was no boyfriend, no husband, no father or grandfather there for me.  I did the majority of the physical work for our moves and had to pay for a lot of the expenses.  I've had to continue paying the same old bills that I always have, relying on God alone more times than not to miraculously help me get by month after month financially (and I can say with pleasure that He invariably did just that).  I signed up for college all alone, not knowing if I could handle the workload (I've got fibromyalgia and that's an unpredictable disability at times).  I've had my mother, my aunt and my best friends to lend some emotional support, but they could not do the work for me.  

I could not have thrived or even survived these changes without having daily/weekly/monthly/quarterly/yearly household routines and a variety of practical organizational skills to ground me.  My inner tenacity didn't come from some magical, intangible quality I possess or a wonderful personality trait I was born with.  I'm not discounting the strength, guidance and knowledge that I'm certain I received from God directly (or the intellectual gifts that my genes gave me), but I also had to develop and repeatedly practice earthbound skills to keep my life on an even keel.  Only by performing those routines (organizing, cleaning, de-cluttering, studying, etc.) day and day out could I learn from them.  God could only work with me to create a new life out of old ashes when I also put forth the effort myself to change my previous disorganized ways over and over again.  I could not have dealt with undesired and long-term unemployment without my hard-earned organizational, housekeeping and time management skills, for example.  Going back to school as a teetering-on-the-edge-of-middle-age woman would have been impossible without the years of mastering those same skills behind me.  They aided me with gaining inner strength and stability, and they will do the same for you. 

Don't be fooled into thinking there's not a deeper meaning to organizing one's physical spaces, learning how to file papers or keeping a home clean.  I now know that I could be faced with anything and still have the ability to survive the event.  I can have a lot of things taken away from me, but my skills are mine to keep.  Don't gain these same abilities just to help, please or impress others.  Don't do it for them, or at least not just for them.  Keep at it for yourself.  Learn and master these de-cluttering, housekeeping, organizing and time management skills so that you can take life as it comes (tragedies included) and stand strong.  I think that a good deal of my new energy comes from knowing just how strong I really am, and that no one will ever be able to take that from me.  I know what to do now with my new sense of energy, happiness and peace- to keep adding to my legacy through hard work, giving love and learning out to our universe as I go about my business.  I can be a beacon of stability and strength even when events in our world are just the opposite.  I wish you all the same knowledge and inner fortitude.

Here's to being a happy organized minimalist,
Liz     

Common Hidden Clutter Hanging Around

Many people, including myself, have claimed to be clutter-free when in fact they're not. Below I'm going to list the most common & easily-missed areas of excess that tend to be overlooked when one's becoming more minimalist.

1) Recipes: Whether in hardbound cookbooks, neatly put in binders, on index cards in a recipe box or torn-out pages hidden in a drawer, recipes are without question one area many people struggle in de-cluttering. I know because I was one of them! I owned at least thirty cookbooks over the years. There's no problem with that in & of itself. The problem was that I only used three or four of those books & I knew that there were many that I'd never utilize. They were great cookbooks, but they weren't for me. Sometimes they were books intended for big families or potluck cooking, neither of which is applicable to me. Even if it was, there are so many recipes available to quickly print online these days that I didn't need the books. I took the cookbooks to my work's library & they were promptly scooped up by other people, for which I'm glad. But It didn't end there. I had torn-out pages which were brown with age, falling apart at the edges & ready to crumble from use. I had to purge the recipes I knew I either didn't like or would never try. The few recipes that were used all the time, I typed onto fresh paper, printed each one out, three-hole-punched it & put it in a nice three binder to use with greater ease. I haven't been able to get my mother to purge the wooden recipe box yet, despite being full of things she's never cooked. But since the box isn't mine (for now), I'll leave it be, lest I get my head chopped off in retribution. However, if you have a box like this & you know there's recipes to be purged or printed onto a better piece of paper by now (or a new index card), get it done. For some people, recipe purging can free up whole drawers, cabinets & bookshelves or bookcases. Remember, clutter equals real estate being used in a poor manner. There may be something used all the time that could be stored in that space instead.

2) Clothing: Some people are great at purging clothing, but other people aren't. There are many different ways about going at the purge. Some people decide to keep only what is in their current size- anything too large either must be altered to fit their current body type, it's sold to consignment or given to charity. Anything way too small, it's sold or given away. But occasionally even if we think we've gotten rid of all that we can, it's simply not true. We're holding onto clothes from a different time in our lives, for example- items we wouldn't wear outside now. Even if they're the right size, it's totally unappealing or uncomfortable to put on. An example would be that you used to work as an attorney & now you're a stay-at-home mom. In this example, you may have a couple of beautiful business suits, some classy work-appropriate dresses, lots of blouses, several pencil skirts & a drawer full of pantyhose. But now you wear jeans & a tee-shirt every day- and you know that's not going to change for quite awhile to come. You haven't worn the attorney-related clothes in two years. You've hung on to the clothing from your old life because they were of such high quality & so much money went into buying them. They may represent things you feel you've lost- youth, freedom, your own money, etc. (Remember, you have to separate feelings from items where clutter is concerned. Just because an item represents something seemingly-pleasant doesn't mean it necessarily should be kept.) But regardless of those facts, these pieces no longer appeal to you at all to actually wear. They're impractical for the life you've got now as a mom with a baby that spits up on you at least once a day & a toddler who tucks cereal into the strangest of places, forcing you to get on your knees & dig out crumbs from underneath the sofa or the back of an SUV. A business suit is simply not going to mesh with that life! If you're unsure of what you're wearing & what you aren't, use this good old trick: Take everything hanging in your closet & turn the hanger around so that the hanger hook is facing you. When you take the piece off of a particular hanger & wear it, put the hanger back so that the hook is facing away from you (as is normal in a closet). After a pre-determined period of time (I'd allow about three months), see how many hangers still having the hook facing you. Those are the pieces you're not wearing on a regular basis. The only exception to this rule would be funeral, black-tie or white-tie wear that you don't use week in, week out, but do need on an occasional basis. (These pieces must still fit you correctly, though.) Most of us reach for the same clothes week after week. You might be surprised at how little of your wardrobe you actually wear. A lot of people think that having a ton of clothes is symbolic of a successful life. This belief is up to you to believe in. If you buy a lot of clothing, wear it all regularly & can afford it without going into debt, great. But remember that catalogs & Internet sites are set up with pretty models smiling & going about enjoyable activities in the clothing they want to sell to you. We look at how these models appear to be- thin, tall, fulfilled, engaged in a fun activity- and we see an image we ourselves would want to experience. Often, though, this reaction is just an unconscious one. We don't often look below the surface & see our reality meshed with that piece of clothing. Then we see a very different picture sometimes. We realize that piece of clothing, no matter how well it's modeled, is not going to be our ticket to effortless beauty, fun, fulfillment or wealth. It's just a shirt, a pair of pants, a skirt. Not a genie in a bottle or a magic wand. Once understood, clothing starts to be viewed in a more objective light. It doesn't mean we don't shop or don't enjoy our lives- we just know how companies market things to us, and any shopping we do becomes a conscious decision. You start buying only what works for your life now & chances are you'll be shopping less. Nice clothing certainly helps us feel a bit better about ourselves, don't get me wrong. But as with anything, keep it in balance.

3) Shoes: If they're not comfortable (no matter how beautiful or expensive they are), either find a way to make them comfortable- put in a special orthotic, stiletto aid or arch support- or find some way to remove the footwear from your home. Sell it at a consignment shop if they're like new & are desirable to others, sell them to a friend or family member, donate them, throw them out if they're just plain worn to death, simply get it done. A person can get by on having one or two pairs of shoes, technically. There will always be new shoes you'll want if footwear is your thing. But our closets only hold so much. If you have a closet floor cluttered with shoes, go through them. Organize them onto shelving, a shoe caddy or shoe tree. But what is beyond your home's carefully-designed ability to hold, you must let go of. Children's shoes, especially ones which are outgrown, are often another source of hidden clutter. And don't think that because items are neatly stored & labeled in a box that they aren't clutter. If they're not being used, are never going to be used by anyone in your household again, it doesn't matter how nicely-stored they are- the items are clutter, period!

4) Papers filed in a file cabinet or box: Just because a paper is neatly identified in a manila folder, held beautifully by a hanging file folder in a cabinet doesn't mean it should be kept. My rule is to go through one manila folder a day to make sure I'm not keeping anything no longer needed. The big ones we tend to hold onto? Tax papers more than seven years old, paid medical bills more than ten years old, old bank registers & related paraphernalia from an account that you don't even have anymore or that has changed names, recipes, receipts, handbooks & warranties for items we no longer possess.

5) Jewelry: This is a tough category for some people to even broach de-cluttering with. Whether out of sentiment or the original money spent on the item being a factor, some people flat-out refuse to go through even unworn pieces. If you love & wear all of your jewelry frequently (in other words, every piece gets worn at least once a year, you have a pair of earrings you always wear for fancy events that come up, etc.), this doesn't apply to you. But many people will inherit jewelry & won't even consider tossing broken pieces without value (in other words, costume or badly-tarnished pieces). Many also won't consider selling the pieces deceased relatives wore, even when they don't wear the jewelry themselves & no one else in their family wants to, either.

6) Linen closet items like tablecloths, towels, washcloths, spare blankets & sheets: Torn edges. Strings hanging off the raggedy seams. Scrunched-up hems. Items browned from age & being folded in one position too long. Printed polyester sheets as thin as tissue paper because they were bought in 1975. You only need two to three bath towels & three to seven washcloths (if you use them- many people these days don't) per person, a few hand towels for the bathroom, enough dishtowels & kitchen hand towels for a week, a tablecloth or two & two sets of sheets per bed. Having a few old but not extremely raggedy bath towels around for emergencies- leaks, big spills, etc.- isn't a bad idea. Having enough blankets for every member of the household plus a guest blanket or two is also important. Anything beyond that is usually just excess. Even that bare minimum takes up plenty of shelf space. No matter how neatly folded & arranged, too much is too much. Not in use anymore, not in house anymore- the minimalist's motto.

7) Kitchen items of all shapes, sizes & types: Small appliances, plates, cups, silverware, drinking glasses, bakeware, pans, pots, old dried herbs & spices...Especially when a person has a big kitchen, it can be really easy to overlook unused items & identify them as clutter. One reason why we think we need bigger homes than we actually do are these "hidden" items that appear really useful, but in fact are just never used. Loaf pans when you never bake anything in that shape. A big automatic mixer when you never use anything but your hand mixer now that the kids have moved out & you're making much smaller dinners. Toaster ovens never utilized anymore because you've bought a better broiler/roasting oven that multi-tasks & also serves to toast any item needed beautifully. An out-of-date coffeemaker that still works just fine but got tossed aside when you bought that beautiful espresso machine that makes every drop of coffee you now drink. Anything covered in dust bunnies because it's become purely decorative & can't even be reached without a step stool. Chipped dishes & mugs you wouldn't be caught dead serving to others. Duplicate pans because two people got you the same item at Christmas one year- pans that food sticks to & you've come to despise. Wine glasses when you never drink alcohol at home. You get my drift. Pretend you're going in as a professional chef viewing your kitchen. A chef won't put up with anything looking less-than-flawless in serving bowls, plates & glasses. Flatware must be gleaming & in great condition- no flaking off or rough edges allowed. All knives must be sharpened to precision & anything dull or half-broken is tossed without a care. Only the finest pans are allowed- if what the chef cooks sticks to the pan or won't heat items evenly, out it goes. All dust, dirt, grease, rust, bugs- gone, or the chef goes berserk. Cutting boards must be clean as a whistle & not all scratched up. There's the right number of matching drinking glasses, mugs, goblets, wine glasses, plates (dinner & dessert), soup bowls & cereal bowls for the amount of people being served- not so many that the chef could feed the entire U.S. Army & still have some items to spare. Chefs don't tolerate unused equipment cluttering up their kitchen, period- and neither should you! Look at your items with a fine-tooth comb & a skeptical eye.

8) Items in china or curio cabinets: Often an extension of kitchen items, china cabinets are meant to hold exactly what they sound like they do. I have no problem with this, as long as you at least occasionally use the china pieces within it! China or curio cabinets can be a lovely display piece of furniture, but they can also be a hoarder's dream. They can either add to the beauty of your home or make it look utterly disorganized. Consider carefully what items you need or love within (don't keep it simply because it was a gift, if you don't like it & it's not valuable). Consider carefully before you buy furniture to store these items at all. When people get minimalist, knick-knacks are often first to go. If you own it, you've got to clean it. Everything you own adds to dusting time, real estate space needed (not cheap in this day & age) & it can raise how much insurance you have to carry. Don't make any buying decisions lightly.

Here's to being an organized minimalist,
Liz

Another Simplicity Tip: Be the Same Person to Everyone You Meet

I used to be quite a chameleon & I don't mean that in a particularly positive way. I was a different person at home with my mother than I was at church. I was different with various friends- some I put my "Christian" attitudes on for, others I let down my hair with. I was double-minded, vacillating between many viewpoints, never quite sure of where I stood. I was a big fence-sitter on a lot of issues, some trivial, some important. While most people who know me now think of me as being opinionated, passionate & pretty single-minded, I wasn't born this way. I saw all different viewpoints, and sometimes this was a great gift. It taught me to be tolerant of others & weigh all options carefully. While I had a critical streak, I usually didn't take my opinions to a state where they'd actually hurt someone. I wasn't double-minded because I wanted to be, but for years it seemed to be my besetting sin. I couldn't understand why I didn't just make up my mind & stick to a decision once I'd chosen it. I considered my attitude abnormal, but I've since realized that most people fall prey to this vacillation in at least one area of their lives.

This complexity comes in many different guises, some subtle, some not. You may glowingly tell your best friend about a man you want to marry, only to lie about seeing him to your mother. You give inspirational speeches at work while talking badly about employees in secret. You may say that you believe in following a particular religion, but don't adhere to even the most basic tenets of said religion. You assign different standards to different people. You treat people based on what class you think they come from- in other words, a janitor doesn't get the same respect as a CEO that you meet. You may allow your spouse to treat the kids in a way that makes you uncomfortable, but your fear of losing your spouse keeps you from speaking up. You may no longer love someone, but pretend to in order to maintain financial comfort. You may have affairs while telling your partner you're faithful only to them. I'm not trying to condemn anybody, and frankly I couldn't even if I wanted to. Only your own conscience can tell you what behaviors need changing in your life. I certainly have my temptations & struggles, so I'm not trying to paint myself as some sort of paragon. I'll never write about a subject I don't understand personally. And usually I've had to struggle with that subject, which is what propels me to write about it so that others may avoid the same stumbling-blocks that I did.

I'm not saying anything such as, "Never let your guard down" or anything akin to that. I don't want you to get out of balance in your life. This isn't about putting up a front- it's about tearing that front down. Letting the invisible walls many of us build around our hearts & minds is often terrifying. Choosing silence when something really should be spoken, going along with unethical behavior even when you know it's not right & addictions all come from not being confident enough to actually be yourself. Discomfort can only be tolerated so long before most people will try to squelch it, some earlier than others. Not everyone is born with an innate sense of ethics & morals, but most of us have a pretty healthy knowledge of right vs. wrong.

It takes a lot of confidence, self-knowledge & calm in the mind to be the same person to everyone you meet. You have to accept that some people will just never like or understand you. You'll have to be willing to hear criticism or even disappointment. You may feel that you've been left out of things because you're the lone dissenter in a group or because your beliefs are different from the majority of people you're around. Certain people in authority may not appreciate who you are as a person & may try to keep you from promotion or another reward. But in the end, being yourself is the only truly peaceful way to live in your own mind. Trying to keep plates full of different things for different people spinning is an impossible task. Choosing to be yourself- who you really are when the spotlight's turned off, the stage is bare & the audience is all gone- at all times is a daring move. Some people are born with this skill, but many of us adapt uncomfortably & unnaturally to suit others along the way. To even survive in many households, schools, peer groups & jobs, most people at one time or another have done or said something they really didn't believe in. I say this not to make anyone feel guilty; rather, I put this out to say it's a common behavior & therefore is one to watch out for. You typically hurt not only yourself but others in the long run for being "fake" or insecure.

I couldn't see who I really was at all until I simplified & organized my life. Being busy with school, work, housekeeping, kids, marriage, church, exercise, sports, etc.- all of this serves to make our lives crazier. Many people are so busy & live such complex existences that they never really sit down to learn about who they really are at the core. Quite often, this leads to the "midlife crisis" we've all heard of. I just had my midlife crisis about twenty years ahead of schedule! When the clutter was cleared, the excess shopping stopped, the activities were minimized & I had time to think, it was sometimes quite painful. I won't lie to you- facing truth is like getting stabbed in the heart sometimes. But it eventually will indeed set you free. It's like getting a layer of paint scraped off so that you can start fresh again, but the scraping isn't all that fun! You must be willing to face all of your failures, successes, trials, attitudes & behaviors. Your habits must be examined. You must be willing to try & see things from the viewpoint of people who hurt you, even if you currently despise them. I'm not saying what those people did are right. But until you try to understand what caused their bad behavior, forgiveness usually remains an elusive dream.

What does this have to do with being yourself? Well, as long as you're holding onto anger, unforgiveness, resentment & age-old pain, you really will never get to the core of who you are. You'll be able to gain some inner knowledge of yourself, but you won't see the whole picture. You'll take what was done to you originally & magnify it repeatedly, making your own life miserable again & again. There's nothing simple about refusing to face the past as it really was or the present as it really is. If you think that you can lie to yourself or others & have a minimalist life, I'm here to tell you it's downright impossible. I don't mean to sound harsh- but I want each of you reading this to have victory. And because of this, I'm not going to mince words. I fought a long, hard battle to gain enough confidence to be myself in all situations. Maybe your battle will be much simpler- for your sake, I hope that it is.

I can't stress enough that most addictions have an element of this insecurity & falsehood to them. When we feel we cannot present our real selves, feelings & experiences with others, most of us develop unhealthy coping mechanisms. Addictions are innately designed to deaden negative feelings & often replace them with euphoria or at least a false sense of self-worth. True self-worth doesn't come from what we do, but many people use an addiction to work, weight loss, exercising or some other things which are approved by society to hide what they feel are negative aspects of themselves. This doesn't make you a bad person, if you're suffering in this way. It's a normal human reaction to a level of stress that is beyond our ability to process when it comes our way. This stress can come in the form of a tough job with a bad boss, failing in school, physical assaults, abuse from a parent or spouse & cruel teasing from others. Some people go inward & seem to wither away from experiences like this, while others go to another extreme, becoming loud & angry people themselves. They often end up repeating the very behavior towards other that first caused them personal stress, especially when it's behavior picked up from a parent or someone who has had authority in their life. The piling on of guilt from going to either extreme doesn't help the situation. This guilt usually comes both internally & externally, serving to heap on even more pain. To rise up from this cycle, processing the original feelings that came with the bad experience(s) must be done. Hard as it is, facing the origins of this pain or vacillation is absolutely essential & is actually much easier than continuing down the road of addiction. The late comedian & actor George Carlin said it very well. When addiction starts, it's all about pleasure & is seemingly very little about pain. As the addiction progresses, the pleasure diminishes & the pain level rises until the pain outweighs everything. Most long-term addicts are actually quite miserable with their lives & acknowledge their drug of choice works less to conceal their pain every day that goes by. You can never know your true self completely when addiction rules over your life. Addiction itself also creates new but false beliefs, which start their own trouble. Facing these demons usually takes a good deal of time, patience with yourself, writing, reading & forgiving- but it's worth it. If you want to live a simple life, it's utterly necessary. If I can do it, you can do it.

Simplicity means that you don't lie to others about your accomplishments in life, including downplaying them. You possess a strong sense of ethics & you stick to them no matter what the people around you choose. You tell the truth even when it's hard, but without trying to hurt people. You have respect for the beliefs of others, researching your own beliefs carefully & thoughtfully, but then stick to those beliefs once established. You don't lie about your political affiliation, religion (or lack thereof), sexual orientation or anything else about yourself. Essentially, it means being an open book. When you never lie or exaggerate anything, it makes your life simpler. It may not (at least in the short-term) make your life easier, but you won't experience the negative emotions that come with lying. You don't say things which are contrary to what you actually are thinking. And please don't tell yourself that this is impossible in your workplace or household. Unless you are in literal physical danger, lying is not a good option to get out of trouble or to get promoted. People will know you by your fruits, believe me. A promotion or two may come your way, but if you got any of it unethically, your reputation will continually be at risk. Certain people will always know that you're not to be trusted. I'm not naïve- I'm well aware of how the workplace operates, which is the same whether you're in private industry or in government. I worked in business for fifteen years & my mother worked in it for thirty-seven years. Old boys club rules will still apply in some places, while in others faux diversity is decidedly in vogue. Diversity is great, so long as it's real. Faux diversity is when a company or individual acts like they want different viewpoints to come forth, but in reality business will continue as usual & nothing is going to change. Please don't engage in this if you're in a position of authority. You may not gain the biggest promotion in the world for remaining ethical, but you will keep the respect of others, especially those who are under your watch. This world is crying out for authenticity. It desperately needs more individuals determined to be themselves, not go along with the pack in negative ways. I'm not saying that this is always or even usually easy. But I firmly believe it's the only right- and simple- way to go.

Here's to knowing & being yourself,
Liz